The Rusty Sword of Shopping
Things I Can Still Manage to Live Without
It’s been a long time since I’ve done any “power shopping.” Pre-minimalist Meg owned shopping, had it down to an art form. I knew where to go to find nearly anything, the best places for selection and price, and the best places for the unusual or unexpected. There were many times I’d get a vision for changing a room’s decor, or turn the need for one thing into an excuse to change over many things, because I’d spot something in one store that made me think of something that would work well with it that I saw at another store, and, well, it would take on a life of its own. Sometimes I’d stumble across irresistible things priced so cheaply that I’d dine out on tales of my bargains. I had many friends who did the same thing, so we loved to share our experiences. Once I went cold-turkey with the shopping, however, that part of my life/consciousness took on a weird solitude. It doesn’t really bother me, though–in fact the serenity is welcome.
At the moment the dining room table is covered with booty from yesterday’s shopping expedition, not as a result of falling off the wagon, but because we had a little extra cash for replacing some items around here that were becoming ridiculously shabby. The haul consists of a new throw rug for the front door to replace the 15 year old one that has no more washes or rubber backing left in it; a dish rack and drainboard to replace the one that is rusting; flat sheets for sewing new duvet covers to replace the ones that have repairs on the repairs; a down alternative blanket to replace my comforter in the summer (plus a different kind of sleepwear, because I am a woman of a certain age and it is difficult to stay asleep at night, and if I don’t start getting some better sleep soon I shall go medieval on your ass); and a pair of those lawn chairs that fold up and fit into bags that can be slung over the shoulder, because our old $9 standard ones are literally falling apart, and now that we have a lovely new park with lots of free concerts just two blocks away, these constitute our “tickets” to good times (and yes, I know a true minimalist would just throw a blanket down on the ground, but after an hour on the ground, my body screams “f**k the minimalism, give us a chair already”).
In my shopping prime this conquest would have taken about an hour, tops, because I would have known exactly where to find the stuff on my list, known the price range, and would not have worried about getting things exactly right because I wouldn’t be bothered by clutter or wasting money or time from having to return things. This is no longer the case. This haul, plus a little bit of grocery shopping, took six hours, all right here in this small town, no store more than ten minutes away. In fact, I made two sweeps of the stores, one a scouting trip where I tried to locate what I needed and compare the prices, then the purchasing trip, which I did after having a brief decision-making lemonade break. Clearly I was out of the habit of making these kinds of purchasing decisions!
I went into stores that I normally avoid like the plague because they used to be temples of temptation–and came out with nothing, not even wanting anything else in them. Stores that once carried a variety of the items I needed no longer carried such a variety. I was amazed at how much had changed in two years. The dish drainer set that I needed, for example, could not be found at any of the department or specialty stores, but it turned up at a big chain hardware/home improvement store, the last place I looked. I went into the hardware store to look for the lawn chairs, but they only had these really expensive ugly ones that look like recycled ‘Murrcan flags. I found the chairs at Target when I went there for some groceries. On the up side, a little bit of online research resulted in some coupons for a department store that is usually outside my price range, and I got two $50 rugs for $17 each, one for the front door as planned, and the other, at my husband’s insistence, for my tootsies in front of the sofa (yes, true minimalists have totally bare floors, but come winter my feet will say “f**k the minimalism, deal with this cold draft already”).
We needed new duvet covers desperately, but not only was the selection very picked-over, the prices of what I could find in three different stores were staggering. I knew I could get them cheaper online, but I prefer to actually feel the fabric that I’m considering placing next to my skin at night. Our current sheet sets have unused flat sheets, so I decided to whip out the old sewing machine and make new duvet covers for the price of a couple of extra flat sheets. Savings: $70, plus decluttered by putting unused sheets to work. The down alternative blanket was something I’ve been thinking about for a couple of years now, and when I spotted one on clearance, I took it as a green light from my old pals the Shopping Angels. Savings: $85. My old shopping self would have been impressed by the savings, but not by the amount of time it now took.
Shopping like this after a long moratorium was quite unsettling, a bit like being overstimulated, maybe like downing a Sudafed with a Turkish coffee; I had some really weird dreams last night, including one where I did indeed go batshit crazy and came home with six pairs of platform shoes, a Bowflex, and a daisy tattoo (analyze that one, if you will, as I have no desire for any of this in real life). As I remove tags and put things away and get the duvet covers sewn, I can only shake my head in amazement that a shopping crusade of this scale was no big deal for me a couple of years ago. I’m also amazed by the amount of waste generated by the bags, packaging, receipts and flyers. To my chagrin, I was still tempted by a couple of other things that I came across during my expedition, things that would have been real treats, but are unessential. It’s a sign to once again shut the shopping door nice and tight, lock it, and throw away the key.
How about you? Have you experienced amazement or weird reactions after shopping or any activity that is no longer a regular part of your life? Did it threaten to awaken the sleeping dragon?
37 Responses to “The Rusty Sword of Shopping”
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Minimalist Photographer
Great timing! I took on the challenge of extreme couponing for a month…firstly to show that we don’t need to over-consume & those extras could be put to better use (donating all food to charity) AND that natural/organic items can be affordable. What I’m finding is that this little challenge is killing me…having to sift through each store each week to try and find the absolute best deals, then head back to those stores after scouring the other stores. I’m used to grocery shopping at about two or three places, so having to go to about 6 different stores a week is too much! I only have a couple days left, and boy, am I excited to get back to the norm!
Megyn @ Minimalist Mommi recently posted..Almost Done: Week 3 Recap
Wow, Megyn, I have never done extreme couponing, and it sounds like a very time-consuming project. Anytime you have to search through coupons, pre-shop multiple stores, then go back and make purchases at multiple stores, you’re talking about adding a half-time job to your regular schedule. Quite understandable that you are looking forward to seeing the back of this project, but I hope it also gave you information and resources that will prove beneficial for your everyday life!
I understand your angst. My year of clothes dieting was over July 31st, so about 5 days later, my husband asked me what we were going to do for fun on a Friday night. I suggested we go out and walk around the outdoor mall, thinking I could start scoping out the clothes scene and plan for my 1st post-diet purchase. We drove around trying to find a parking spot, passing Banana Republic, Macy’s, Dillards, Ann Taylor…and in the end, I decided that I wasn’t even interested in the exercise of shopping, as I had originally thought. It didn’t even sound fun…so, we ended up dining instead! I may try a lower level of commitment first…thrifting, just for the sport of it all.
To this day I have yet to purchase anything and I’m just not all that interested in investing so much time…although I could replace a few items that I wear more regularly. I’m really on your plan, to not buy something unless needed and you inspire me! Enjoyed the post…
Hi Lydia–getting out of the recreational shopping habit is one of the most liberating things I’ve ever done, and it looks like it happened to you, too. Maybe instead of shopping, even thrifting, you could get into another activity altogether, such as a sport, a charity, a hobby, or anything besides shopping?
I don’t feel so strange now! When I come home from serious grocery shopping even, the amount of bags and stuff is amazing! Then sometimes when I’m shopping I put stuff in the cart witgout thinking..and I realize “hey, I don’t REALLY need that!” and have to put it back. Love the comments about the night clothes and rug lol!
Annie recently posted..The Utensil Drawer
Hi Annie–yes, THE BAGS!!! It nearly freaked me out, because I have canvas bags that I use for our weekly grocery shopping, avoiding plastic bags as much as possible. That means there’s never a billowing mass of flimsy logoed plastic after putting stuff away anymore. After this trip, however–!!! I’d actually forgotten what packaging and bag waste on this scale looked like, and it made me think back to all those shopping excursions I’d done in my life and the amount of garbage it has generated. Wow. (I LOVE the new rugs, and it’s not even winter yet!)
I’ve never loved shopping, but I have loved getting things inexpensively, even if I didn’t NEED it. Also, I am, and have always been, an extremely inept shopper. I’m likely to get overwhelmed and just leave. The store that used to be the worst for me were those discount stores like TJMaxx, because EVERYTHING was less than it had been and my thrifty brain would explode. My biggest weakness, and yes, I succumbed just this weekend, is glass food storage jars. I know, it’s totally weird, but there are these great ones from Europe, as well as those with the snap on lid, and I love them. Also, the kids eat out of them since our plate situation is, ahem, very minimal.
Area rugs, yes. You need them unless you are in S.Cali or slouch around in coffee houses 90% of the time. I think duvet covers are a rip-off. Incredibly easy to make, yet people are somehow able to charge four times the amount it costs to sew two sheets together. I’m greatly relieved to hear no daisy tat for you, too twee by a long shot!
Terra@TheSimplePoppy recently posted..Food Musings
Hi Terra–I think I know the glass jars you’re talking about! Are they made by Arcoroc? The ones with the metal band around the top and the rubber sealing rings? I used to be HOOKED on those, and still have a couple. But glass food storage is my thing, too. I use Better Than Bouillon as a soup and sauce base, and reuse the jars to hold my spices, too.
About making duvet covers: I am pleased to have saved the money and found a good use for unused sheets. That being said, I also have a 40-year-old sewing machine, and much much less patience for this sort of project than I used to have, for whatever reason. I wanted button closure on the flap (one set of sheets was longer than the other, so made a neat flap), and then discovered that my machine’s buttonhole making function was no longer functional. This then resulted in having to run to WalMart to pick up velcro fastener (hand sewing buttonholes is not something my hands can manage), then futzing around with that, doubling the amount of time I had planned to spend on this project. Quite aggravating, but in the end I was still happy to save the money, which would have taken me the better part of a week to earn, assuming the work was even available.
Nope, no daisy or any other kind of tattoos for me!
Since I’ve never much liked shopping, not doing it comes more naturally to me. I loved your comment–”I’ve been thinking about (the blanket) for two years now” I totally get that–I need a desk chair, I really do need one, but I haven’t found one that works, nor have I found a desk, which I need too. So I continue to look around when the mood strikes me because most of the time I can’t seem to get myself in gear enough to actually enter an office furniture store and look for a desk or chair.
Hi Willow–where do you work????? I usually work in my studio, with my drafting table set flat. Sometimes I will work at the dining room table with the front door open to enjoy sunshine, but it does make me more vulnerable to interruption. Sometimes, like now, I work from the sofa, but that is usually for more casual projects like answering comments and emails. Every once in a great while I will work in a coffee shop, but never for more than a couple of hours. I don’t think I’ve ever owned a proper desk and chair of my own, it’s always been a mishmash of repurposed furniture!
Re the blanket: I’m not sure it’s much cooler than the comforter. Going to try the comforter again and if it’s not worse, the blanket is going back to the store (I asked if it was returnable, and the manager said yes, if I left the tags on, which I did).
You nailed it Meg. As a newbie to minimalism, I’ve been paralyzed with guilt over buying things I actually need. Whether it’s camp chairs, a nightgown, or a small rug, there are some things that are genuine needs and their purchase should not be accompanied by overwhelming guilt. I will now apply Meg’s “fuck minimalism” test to my shopping list. That should clarify things a little.
Christine@100things100days recently posted..Day 51: Five Reasons To Get Rid Of Clutter – Or Why I Want To Live In A Hotel
Hi Christine–Oh, dear, what have I started, hahaha! We each have different levels of minimalism. It would be silly for this 56-year-old to try to live like the hardy high-energy extreme minimalists, for example, even though I admire them for being able to do so. The goal is what streamlines your mind, what gets to the point for you? What’s “just enough?” But don’t worry–stick with it, and the guilt thing will indeed subside as you learn what’s “just enough” for you
This was a fun read Meg . . .
I’ve never enjoyed shopping and have always avoided it whenever possible. The one time in life I had to step-up big time is when my ex-husband and I built our dream home. I chose a ‘base’ floor plan and completely redesigned it to my specifications. It took us four years of pounding nails to finish building. I purchased every board, every nail, cases of caulk, all of the building materials. I was the general contractor, owner, and builder (alongside my ex). And when the nearly 3,000 square foot structure was finished on the exterior, I purchased all of the appliances, etc. that completed the interior. I loved nearly every aspect of the project and have no desire to do it all again. People have wanted to ‘hire’ me to oversee their building projects and I just laugh. You couldn’t pay me enough to do it now.
It’s good to be clear about where you’re at in life. I like your clarity and your humor. I nearly choked reading, “Shopping like this after a long moratorium was quite unsettling, a bit like being overstimulated, maybe like downing a Sudafed with a Turkish coffee . . .”
I live in a sleepy little coastal town an hour away from any real shopping opportunities. And that’s just the way I like it thank you very much! Now if I would just hold myself back from buying books on Amazon I’d be a minimalist saint!
Darris recently posted..Foggy Days of Summer . . .
Hi Darris–your contracting story brings back vivid memories for me. My ex and I purchased a Greek Revival house with the understanding that I would be the one fixing it up and arranging work by professionals. The project was pretty successful and it led to being hired as a consultant, planner, and manager by others with similar projects, and that in turn came in handy when I got divorced and had to start an actual career doing this. I quickly specialized in landscape and exterior work, and retired from it after 16 years. These days, however, I barely have the patience to fix a faucet!
Good luck with the book buying–but that’s not such a bad thing, is it? ;D
“and if I don’t start getting some better sleep soon I shall go MEDIEVAL on your ass”
OMG; I am wiping tears of laughter from my face! Thanks for this!
Catrien recently posted..Irene, don’t be mean
Hi Catrien–I swear Tarentino channels a menopausal woman for some of his scripts!!!! Pulp Fiction, Kill Bill, I mean, think about it…. ;D
Giggling wildly.
I so relate to the “vision” of decor. I was afflicted with the same, and wandered for days trying to find the perfect accessory I could see in my mind’s eye. Never found it. If I was handier maybe I could have made it. But no — I learned to do without. I also hate malls. When I was younger, my grandfather sent me to one to buy “whatever I wanted” — every teenage girl’s dream. I was overwhelmed (ended up buying a rain poncho for $5, and he was quite disappointed in me). Still don’t know what to do with malls, frankly, besides walking them for exercise. My downfall is the old-time hardware shop with just one of everything, so you don’t have to choose.
Always love your stories and your humor, Meg.
Tamara @ Suburban Satsangs recently posted..The Empty Room
Hi Tamara–my grandma did that one time for my birthday, right before I started high school. She gave me extra for my planned trip to the mall, and I remember being proud of showing her just how far I stretched that money, hahaha! Of course now I hate the sight of malls. I know what you mean about those old-time hardware stores. There used to be one just a couple of blocks from here, but that closed twenty years ago, and I don’t think I’ve been in anything similar since.
Ha ha — funny dream! Aren’t you almost 6 feet tall who wouldn’t have any need for platform shoes?
In my 20s when I had no responsibility and plenty of time to waste, I was a shopping pro. But now, the only joy I get out of it is when it’s over. I used to love buying presents for others but now, I sadly approach it as a chore. I’m often filled with indecision or worse, a debilitating lack of interest that would cause me to leave a store not having purchased anything I was looking for. I often ask friends and family for recommendations and sometimes, I even con them into buying things for me on the promise that I would pay them back (which I always do).
The only time I enjoy shopping these days is if I know a specific thing that someone I love wants or needs and I can get it online and have it delivered.
Hi Belinda–I’m with you on the present shopping thing. I dread it more often than not, and consider myself a lousy present picker-outer. The Amazon Wish List has saved me on more than one occasion in my family!
I’ve shrunk a bit, but still have no need for the platform shoes. Still am mystified by the significance of that dream….
WOW Meg! What a great story . . . I hope you’ve written a post about this . . .
Have you seen this video about a guy living in a 78 square foot apartment? He’s a better man than I . . . I lived in a 30′ travel trailer for four years while building our house. It was actually a pleasant experience.
http://www.cnn.com/video/#/video/us/2011/08/26/natpkg.78.sq.ft.apt.luke.clark.cnn?hpt=hp_c2
Darris recently posted..Marine Mammal Center Releases 4 Harbor Seal Pups . . .
Darris, I mention bits and pieces of the story here and there, but it’s ancient history, haha! Haven’t seen the video, but I do have an old friend who lived in a teeny tiny trailer (and I mean teeeeeeeny tiny trailer, smaller than yours)while her new house was being built. She called it her gypsy caravan and decorated nearly every square inch of it with hand painted details, rich colors, etc., and if I recall correctly, sold it at a profit to someone who was blown away by its beauty. Very inventive!
Meg — you did good, and your story about the lawn chairs cracked me up. It was a must read aloud to my husband. Thanks for the evening chuckle!!
Heidi
Hi Heidi–very glad to provide a laugh, that makes me feel good
What a story, Meg! You did well. I’ve never liked shopping to begin with so it’s not quite the same danger for me. Don’t get me wrong, I will buy things but I’m not a super fan. These days I avoid big stores like Target or Ross or Macy’s like the plague because the chemical fumes floating in the air disturb me. I don’t notice them as much as I did a year ago, but I can still smell them. More than 5 or 10 minutes in the store and I start getting a sore throat.
I’m sure I would have a mad shopping affair for a bit if I did give it ago. There’s something about absence makes the heart grow fonder!
Sandra / Always Well Within recently posted..A Step-by-Step Guide to Overcoming Digital Overwhelm
Hi Sandra–my husband has had a difficult time in Target, too. The section with the cleaning products segues into the section with the cosmetics and personal grooming products, so one whole side of the store is perfumed. Then the section with the clothing, particularly the children’s clothing, is not scented, but does distress, perhaps from the formaldehyde in the fabric. Recently, though, our local Target has remodeled, and the clothing is not close to the scented section anymore, plus they seem to have upgraded their HVAC or ventilation system. It hasn’t been as bad in the past few weeks.
I hold my breath and walk by the perfume counters as fast as I can whenever I have to go into a department store. It’s overwhelming. You’ve my sympathies!
You crack me up Meg! Isn’t it funny that something you once did so regularly now creates such a wave in your life that you can write entertaining stories of your experience? And that it even caused you to make impuse purchases — if only in your dreams. Ha, ha.
I absolutely despise shopping, and the only real shopping I do is to buy groceries and a few personal items (shampoo, soap, toothpaste, etc.). My husband even says it makes him uncomfortable how angry I look when I’m in a department store. So…when possible, I order things online when we need something.
Jenny @ exconsumer recently posted..Tomorrow is Not Guaranteed
Hi Jenny–tell your husband that mine had the same discomfort for a while, too! I’m okay now, and we actually have a pretty good time on our weekly food shop. The anger against marketing will be balanced by inner satisfaction with your independence from it
Yet I’m with you on the online shopping–it is preferable, when possible.
Hi Meg! Loved this post, and loved your witty comments about rugs and pajamas and blankets!
I was never a super shopper, but I would go in and do my fair share when I had the funds (and sometimes when I didn’t!) Since my breakdown last year I REALLY dislike the malls, and over this year as I have started realizing how little I need to be happy, I have done very little shopping. I think this year I have bought 3 colored tees, a pair of brown sandals to replace my everyday pair that was worn (and those took ALL DAY to find!), and a rug for in front of my kitchen sink.
We have recently changed our diet to basically a fresh fruit & veggie diet with no processed foods. We are trying to buy more from our local produce stand and everything else from our smaller grocery store. I am happy to say I cannot remember the last time I went into a Walmart, when we used to go several times a week!
It will be interesting to see how this Christmas season goes. We have never been HUGE givers at Christmas, we have too many in our family for that. I’ll need to get super creative!
Bernice
Living the Balanced Life recently posted..Is your life a roller coaster ride?
Hi Bernice–we did the no-present Christmas last year, and while it was weird not to shop and wrap, it was also such a relief for us and the rest of my family. When we got together we focused on dessert in the living room instead of opening presents, and it was just fine.
I know what you mean about the several times per week shopping, did it for years myself. What a waste, eh? But we are doing so much better now, so pats on the back to us both!
I found myself smiling and nodding at this post!
Where I used to enjoy going to the malls, I now find them boring: my wardrobe is weeded and coordinated, my home is furnished for all seasons and I buy any books or DVDs online (not so heavy to carry home!) plus driving out there and parking is often a pain.
Although I haven’t put any particular program on myself, I have been decluttering and clearing out again, and things are getting better and less
I shop at one local supermarket that offers lots of local produce (I rarely buy anything processed) and if I need to replace undies or a tshirt they have that, too, it’s practically one-stop-shopping and these days, I just go there once a week when I’m already in the building for a gym class…
Far better to spend time with my family, pets, friends, outdoors or curled up with a book or dvd or my knitting or write and if I want to get out I can visit parks, gardens, the lake, mountains, monuments, museums, galleries – or travel. Much better than shopping – and I was brought up by a dad who lived to shop and “save” money LOL
Hi MeID–I was raised in a similar way, as probably most of us were, treating malls and bargain centers as one big giant Candyland of possibilities, while ignoring the cost in loss of money, time, and space. Funny how stepping back from it opens up a whole ‘nother world.
It will be interesting to see how this Christmas season goes. I found myself smiling and nodding at this post! I purchased every board, every nail, cases of caulk, all of the building materials. I’ve never loved shopping, but I have loved getting things inexpensively, even if I didn’t NEED it.
Susie Guthrie recently posted..Acne Tips
Hi Susie–yep, getting bargains used to be such a high. I hope the holidays find you strong in your resolution. We’re going into our 2nd Christmas without present-giving or receiving, and it’s a real relief!
I chose a ‘base’ floor plan and completely redesigned it to my specifications. I’m okay now, and we actually have a pretty good time on our weekly food shop.
Jasmine Rosario recently posted..Cancer Tattoos Tumblr
Hi Meg,
I totally understand how you feel. This week I’ve had to purchase clothes for a new job after I gave notice to my last position where I wore a uniform everyday. It’s been very difficult and time consuming. And the minimalist in me is having a tough time handing over the dollars. But as of today I have managed to buy 5 shirts, two pair of pants and 1 pair of boots (more than I’ve bought in years). Hopefully I’m done because I’m no good at the shopping thing any more.