A Nice and Easy Holiday
A couple of weeks ago, I wondered if I should put up a tree or not. Could I be bothered? Years ago I’d deck out every room and window and doorway with garlands and trimmings and lights and bows, and on and on. Presents would be wrapped in gorgeous paper and bows, gatherings would be large and lavish. It was expensive and exhausting and ultimately unrewarding. And of course it would generate resentment, since the skill sets needed for that sort of holiday were not shared by the other members of my family. This is usually the case in most families: one person “puts on” Christmas, the rest lay back and enjoy it (or run and hide).
Ma and Pa Snow
So then I asked myself, what would I do if I was completely alone, without worrying about anyone or anything else? The answer: some sort of tree, to symbolize the solstice; “winter” decorations as opposed to religious ones; lots of white lights on everything because they are like starlight and moonlight on snow, the pretty side of winter; things like pine cones in baskets, bird feeders, candles, mulled wine, soup and bread gatherings, small gifts of food–things that are not specifically Christmas, yet don’t leave out Christmas. Thus I was able to just focus on what I liked best, to make the kind of holiday I really wanted.
I decided that I wanted to put up the “big” tree for a change. It’s an inexpensive fake tree that my son bought at Walgreen’s drugstore back when he was a kid to put up in his room, and since it is relatively lightweight and portable I used it myself after he grew up. It’s only been up a couple of times since we moved here, because I’ve usually been too busy or tired to deal with anything more than a table top tree. A recent rearrangement of the living room meant that only a potted plant had to be moved to make room for the tree, so that was one big hassle out of the way.
Quite a few holiday decorations were tossed or donated during the big stuff purge a couple of years ago, but there were still two heavy boxes of various things that I’d kept. I went through them again, getting rid of a few things that didn’t work or were more fuss and trouble to set up than they were worth. The tree got most of the keeper ornaments (including the cheerful snowman couple) and loads of little white lights, dozens of white handmade clay stars, and the whole thing was propped up on a small table so that the star at the top of the tree is mighty close to the ceiling. The tree skirt is a loden green wool poncho I made over thirty-one years ago to keep me warm during those last two gigantic weeks before my son was born. How’s that for repurposing?
During the tree-decorating, I felt inspired to have a gathering for the Winter Solstice. I’m not pagan, but marking the seasons and the passage of time seemed like something I really wanted to do. So we made contact with a handful of people, set the doorbell chime to play “Jingle Bells” (it doesn’t offer “Deck the Halls,” darn it all), and I made a big vegetable soup, sundry buffet items, and a chocolate yule log with a coffee/cream cheese filling. There was lots of beer, lots of cheer, and enough leftovers to take care of run-and-grab meals and dinner with the kids through Christmas Day.
And we even got a bit of snow, enough to make the ground white, which is really all anyone actually wants outside of ski resorts and sledding hills. We’ll take a drive around town this evening or the next to sip hot chocolate from travel mugs and get a kick out of all the holiday lights, especially in the blocks where the neighbors are obviously competitive with one another. The lights are always more magical when there’s snow on the ground and rooftops.
It’s turning out to be a lovely holiday, done with a light hand. There was no gift-buying; instead, I made little bags of homemade benne wafers, our new favorite cookie. This is the sort of holiday I honestly prefer–no frenzy, nothing to prove, no expectations, laid back and cheerful, and fun for the rest of the family, too, because the Christmas-putter-onner isn’t stressed out.
Happy Holidays to you all!
Love and hugs,
Meg
11 Responses to “A Nice and Easy Holiday”
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Minimalist Photographer
I liked the way you traced out in your mind what would would be manageable and enjoyable for you. The outcome sounds cozy, fun, and uplifting! Your Ma and Pa Snow are so adorable. I don’t recall ever having a tree as an adult, but you are tempting me with the cuteness of your approach!
Sandra / Always Well Within recently posted..Remember the Goodness
Hi Sandra–the house across the street and down one block has a big yard in which they set up a pair of large lighted palm trees every year (or maybe they don’t take them down), similar to these: http://www.christmaslightsetc.com/images/ProductCloseup/Brown_Trunk_Palm_Tree.jpg
It’s a hoot, and I’d bet they’d work great where you live ;D
the Christmas you envisioned is pretty much our Christmas and I say this not in a boasting way at all.My husband became ill and was forced into retirement at 49.Our lives took on a huge change and so did our mind set but Christmas has always been this way for us, we keep things simple, we give gifts from the heart, food or handmade, decorations we gather from nature and add some simple white lights, ( except for some old glass balls of my mums)because we never spent fortunes on the holiday we had no change to make there, I suppose we were lucky in that, my wish for you is the merriest of Christmas, in what ever way you celebrate.I must say that i have been reading your blog for such a long time but never comment until recently.I enjoy it so much, thankyou for that.
Hi Laurie–glad so much that you have come by to comment and give me a chance to thank you for reading “for such a long time.”
It took me years to get the holidays down to what they are now, and to catch up with the way you’ve done it all along!
Merry Christmas to you and yours.
Oh, Meg, I am so with you. A few weeks ago I wrote about how we’ve decided to simplify. (You might like the post. It’s here: http://www.thissortaoldlife.com/2012/12/05/celebrating-a-simple-holiday/)
It has not been a perfect season. I’d still probably rather not have Christmas. But by working with my family to define (and redefine) it, and by limiting my exposure to media, it’s been so much better.
Your holiday sounds so lovely. I’ve been telling the others I want to shift our celebration to the solstice, for the same reasons you mention. So far the kids aren’t with me, but in a few years when they are grown, I think I’m going to do it.
Wishing you wonderful days filled with light–
Rita@thissortaoldlife recently posted..A gift-giving guide, of sorts
Hi Rita–that was a great post you did, and it was heartening to also read the comments it generated. One of the seasonal decorations I put up is this group of three small unadorned xmas trees–the tallest is @ 2′ tall, the smallest about a foot. I had been using them as lit up trees for a few years in lieu of the big one, but this time I undecorated them, cleaned them up, and grouped them on top of the piano in the dining room, along with a partridge candle one of my students gave me many years ago. Quite the woodland effect, cheery, understated, and so easy that I know I’ll do it again next year
Good luck with the solstice thing–you’re right that the kids might get into it when they’re older!
Meg, I loved this post and the focus on what was meaningful for you in the celebration and season. I and my family are scaling back and changing things this year. It is made a little easier by the fact that my mother, who we usually spend the holiday with, is away this year. Although I really miss her, I am welcoming the chance to let go of some of those “traditional” things or customs that were more for someone else’s idea of what is necessary (like piles of presents, and piles of cookies–though we will still have a few of each!)We need to find what we authentically love. Each family member said something that they wanted to do. WIth that, we decorated a tree, watched the Polar Express, made suagar cookies, and toasted the Solstice with friends. So nice.
Mama Minou recently posted..Sapin de Noel
Hi Mama Minou–creating your own way of doing/not doing holidays is so gratifying, isn’t it? We each have our own sense of what is balanced, indulgent, or skimpy, but a lot of us are feeling there’s too much of the wrong kind of indulgence. Glad that you’ve had a chance to create something fresh and authentic for yourself and your family
I agree that in most homes one person does and the others enjoy/avoid. I’m lucky that Bill does help, in putting up the tree for me to decorate. I make the wreath and he hangs it. I do Thanksgiving and he does Christmas dinners. It feels more balanced. My large tree, covered with ornaments my Mom and I collected over 45/34 years, is in no way minimalist, but I enjoy re-creating the tree of my childhood. I’m also lucky in that my step-kids (all grown adults) seem to appreciate my wacky American tree as well. Merry Christmas to you and yours!
Hi Shelley–when Steve and I celebrated our first Christmas together, I was still doing Ultimate Christmas, heavily influenced by Martha Stewart, etc. His reaction: “Where’s the tinsel? It’s too tasteful!” His description of English Christmases sounded much different than what I was used to. It’s settled into something much different now, our 13th holidays together. Our tree has a few things from my son’s childhood, things bought together, and things given to us by friends. I am still the prime mover of holidays, though!
I struggle with this every year. This year I asked my husband and son if they wanted a tree and if they’d be willing to pitch in to decorate. My husband and son both said that they didn’t care if we had a tree but would help if I wanted. I chose not to put up a tree. We had our stockings hung with care and front porch decorations but that’s it. On the drive down to my mom’s for Christmas I asked my guys, “I want to take a pole on who missed having the Christmas tree this year”, my son said, “I didn’t miss it one bit”, my husband said, “tree, we didn’t have a tree?”. Good to take stock in what’s important.
We lost my father-in-law on Christmas Eve this year. My husband and sister-in-law were with my mother-in-law and father-in-law every day for three weeks during my father-in-law’s hospital stay. Losing a loved one has me reassess what’s important . . . again.
Happy New Year to you and Steve Meg!
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